ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
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