I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Randomize
