It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
I think I have vodka in my lungs
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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