we're blogging at a bar
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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