whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
