and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
