giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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