Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
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