you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
