don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Randomize
