One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Randomize
