So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
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