Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
420 ftw
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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