I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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