You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
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