Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
