I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
