The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I could make wine with my vomit
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Randomize
