is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
