I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
and you fell through a lawn chair
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Randomize
