You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
