That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
either way he was missing a nipple.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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