I don't think brook has ever known best
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
