k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
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