I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Randomize
