Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
you didnt know i had herpes?
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize
