guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
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