If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
