Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
