I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
home. puking in laundry basket.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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