i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Randomize
