i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
