this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
