the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Randomize
