how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Randomize
