Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
