It's Friday. Sex?
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
