this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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