My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
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