their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I want to be your penis for a week.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
