the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
