Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
