evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Randomize
