I need help removing her.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
