This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
