I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
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