I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Randomize
