dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
