I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Randomize
