I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
It's just like the Real World with babies
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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