Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Randomize
