I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
