He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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