i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Randomize
